i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
