remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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