Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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