Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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