i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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