Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
