i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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