You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he puts the penis in happiness.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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