My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
