fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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