I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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