did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize