I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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