It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
