Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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