Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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