Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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