OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize