I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
