I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
