just come out here and I will go home with you...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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