Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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