I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
