I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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