Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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