you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
