I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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