I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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