Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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