hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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