he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
