party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
