Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
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I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
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I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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