Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
