so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
