before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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