I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize