he wants to bone in the snuggie
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
