We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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