I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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