I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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