In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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