everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
