She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
