I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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