I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she looked like the before picture.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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