I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
