i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
