A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
