If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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