So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
