Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
