He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
