when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
if only i could text you this smell
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
