I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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