He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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