are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
