never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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