I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
