Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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