I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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