She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
