who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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