Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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