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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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